Sky suggested part of my current depression is a PTSD reaction to what was happening to me this time last year. I wasn't sure I agreed, but as I've calmed down I've tried to separate out what's got me in such a foul mood, and I do think that's part of it.

On this date last year, I was in the hospital, went into respiratory arrest, had to be resuscitated, and was put on a ventilator for 2 days. I went in the hospital Dec. 5 and because I admitted to some anxiety over why I was there, they classed me as a nutjob and blew off the breathing problems I clearly was having -- often in front of nurses -- as garden-variety anxiety. I overheard one nurse say to another that when she came in the room one time, I was curled up in a ball at the end of the bed and my lips were blue --- but they still blew it off as anxiety.

I don't remember a whole lot about most of the 5 weeks I was in the hospital, but the parts I do remember are not nice. My butthead primary care guy missed all this in the first place and I've always been angry with myself for not suing the jerk for malpractice for nearly killing me.

I dunno. I'm just extra ticked off today. Thanks for listening.

Candy