I hope you can begin to realize that it wasn't something she controlled...but a true mental illness that controlled her.

_Sky, I am just getting to this in T.

It has taken me a long, long time to realize this with my mother. Alcohol got in my way...meaning I thought all her actions were alcoholic.

Now I realize the underlying issues and the outcome it had on all our lives.

It's very confusing and triggering because I have to walk back into the past AGAIN. It's not easy to walk back into that house of horrors.

But I know if I don't I will be filled with the black poison forever.