Hello hopefully things are better at this time. It is possible that you just have a lot of feelings and emotions that you feel are not understood on the level, that you feel that you yourself are not being understood, and you are frustrated from the misunderstanding, and the world around you at this time. Journaling is a good form of getting out feelings when you do not feel understood, and you feel somewhat concerned that you will always be misunderstood, and you feel rejected and alone, a lot of the time., with your thoughts and your life in general. Have you thought about going back to school, it is possible that you need something in your life that means that you have expressed yourself in a manner that makes you feel worthy and acknowledged in life. Support groups are good as well, NAMI and DBSA both have good support groups, possibly starting your own DBSA group would be good for you if you need help expressing yourself. There is always a need for good and expressional people to run support groups. I hope the best for you and I hope things get better for you soon. I also want to leave you a hotline number if you need to call someone and talk to someone in person. 1-800-273-TALK. Take Care sincerely Soidhonia