Hello everyone! I was diagnosed with depression several years ago. My Doctor and my OBGYN have told me I will be on antidepressants for the rest of my life. I do not like taking medicine one bit to be able to function but there are several reasons why I must have them. I was molested by my cousin which eventually led to rape. I was not able to tell anyone at the time it was happening and it happened for several years. Well I found out that he has been caught as an adult molesting two girls. There could be more but there are two that I know of. As an adult it makes me panic just being around him. I start shaking, and sweating, and I have to leave the room o calm down. Everyone thinks it is because I can't handle being in small spaces with a lot of people. Well that is part of it because I feel very uncomfortable when there are to many people in one space. It is getting harder to deal with. There are triggers and nightmares that are getting really bad. I have learned that I have to deal with one thing at a time. I have not talked to my soon to be husband about this although he has asked. It is to embarrassing to me to tell him that my cousin molested me and then the same male cousin raped me. I understand we were kids but he is several years older than I am and would even apologize because it was going to hurt. I wish I knew how to deal with these feelings.