Yeah... and with a therapist there's always that time thing. And it's hard to have a really good talk on cue. It just doesn't flow under those conditions. If you have a large extended family maybe you can get a chance to talk with one of them. One of the advantages of having a big family and knowing a lot of people is that the law of averages means that your chances of having people you can connect with are a lot better.
It could get better when the crisis of the anniversary passes. I hope talking here helps. I get a sense that there is something about all this that you need to get out. You may not even be aware and if you are you might not know what it is. Some of us are really good at hiding or disguising what's at the core of our problems.