Since I am new, I will summarize briefly. Last summer, an event at work, coupled with just a lot of general life stress, pushed me over the edge into a crisis state. A very incompetent MD, something I found out after the fact, misdiagnosed me as bipolar, got me onto lamictal which did nothing for my state of mind but caused anemia and a neurological tremor, and worst, threatened and intimidated me into doing a day hospital program. All of which took me from a dark place in my life to the bottom of a pit so deep I wasn't sure I could get out.

Months later, first my therapist and then the new, competent MD I now see diagnosed me with PTSD and anxiety disorder. Which made a lot more sense. And, in almost all aspects of my life, I feel dramatically better equipped to deal with stressors fom trivial to major.

I feel like the one thing hanging over my head is this first diagnosis, and especially the fact that I was in a psychiatric treatment program, albeit nominally outpatient. I dread the thought that someone will find this out, and worse "out me" to the word. I have felt all along that this sort of information would destroy my personal and professional reputation, my career, and probably my relationships with family and friends.

And, at the time, I feared this diagnosis could be used against me in a legal setting, to have me declared incompetent and placed under guardianship or conservatorship, to take away rights such as to contract, or privileges such as my driver's license - perfect driving record for 30 years, but during my messed up state I turned into Mr. Road Rage and did some really stupid stuff, and then was even more stupid and told the first MD about it, so it's in writing in records.

I know those are far-fetched fears, especially since I was never totally dysfunctional - I even went into the office in the evenings some nights after the day program to work on some case files, since the court deadlines had to be met no matter what. Even at the time, anyone would have had a hard time proving I was incompetent, but I feared someone would try.

I know it isn't like a criminal record that can be expunged, but I would like to know if someone can be declared or certified "sane" or competent by a MD short of a court proceeding? Haven't been brave enough to ask my new MD that question yet. What would be the criteria? What is sane, really, anyway? We all have some issues, everyone.