Hi allimsaying, wow what a major loss you have endured this year, my heart goe's out to you my friend, i lost my mum 5 years this xmas and i think that i personally will never get over that , i have nearly 5yrs of the stages of grieving and did'nt even know it was grief that was due to my many issues until i researched it, still the point is that i'am saying is give yourself time to adjust and recover, you are on the right track by writing your feelings down , i think it is a good thing, i thought about writing a book with all the things i wrote down about how i felt and about my mother's funny ways she lived her life. i never did tho, why not try and do that sort of thing, you are very good at expresssing your self,and i might give you something too focus on as well, you are a very sound person to me anyway so look forward to maybe reading your book eh?
gismo x