I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I know how you feel. I have T but I can't say the things I want to say. I just can't say the words. My brain just will not let the words abuse, and rape, and sexual assault come out of my mouth.

I do a lot of writing. I can write it but not speak it. My T is ok w/ that. As long as I don't have to say those words I am good. I can answer questions, just not get the conversation started. (and not say those words)

Do you have a T? Have you thought about writing down what you think? It might be worth a try.