I saw Therapist.. apparently it isn't the first time HE has met Catherine.. many years ago he had a conversation with someone who didn't identify herself but he was sure it wasn't the one he usually spoke with. Apparently she was the one who protected me... I protected all the other kids in the family but once in a while when it seemed the stress was just too much there was someone around who would jump in and protect me.. that was the part of me who was Catherine.. I am amazed! But apparently Catherine isn't really very intrusive - but the stress lately has just been too much.. so Catherine thought I needed a bit of help.. now the job will be to convince her that I will be able to manage on my own.. with her in her righful place inside ! She can help - she is after all part of me but she just can't take over.. wow.. Thanks all for ypur help!