Welcome, Namaste...I'm so sorry for what you've been thru. I don't have any advice, only a friendly ear....have not experianced that side of psychosis myself, but it sounds like you've been thru the mill.

I know there are forums here that address this type of experiance so I hope you find them helpful; the people here are very helpful and kind.....just having someone to listen sometimes is the most important thing, I've found.