Just wanted to say hi - though I have no specific advice. That's a lot happening for you. Why not scream and cry? it's natural. I do a lot. I hear it can be a physical release? Don't know. But to me it feels physically better than the times I have to hide it because I'm in public or living with someone. I used to scream while driving sometimes when I couldn't make a ruckus in the house.

Hugs