Not Merely to Survive

Why me, Lord,
what did I do to deserve this?
Where were You when I needed You?
What of my Guardian angels? I don't believe!
A loving God doesn't allow this to happen
to an innocent child!"

Raging with misfortune,
I cried out in pain,
"Curse the evil fates!
God does not exist!"
Wallowing in self-pity,
I blamed instead of acting.

Unhappiness caused me to look within and found:
agony, bitterness, rage, betrayal.
"From the fullness of the heart
the mouth speaks."

He spoke from his pulpit high
oblivious to pain of folks in pews.
Arrogant discourser
emply of understanding.
Lacking in comfort and assistance!
What does he know of depravity
in his unenlightend mind?

Free will, right or wrong,
our choies are our own!
Where is reconning for her
who Holy edicts broke
while claiming to be His?
In thought and prayer
I spent much time.
The words "free will"
echoed on the own
in the peripheries of my mind
'til one day His dawn was born
deep within my heart.

She chose to break devine commands.
Old crone alone will face Him
on His judgement throne.
I'll turn pain into victory
and torment into peace.

Embracing those who share my plight,
by Grace, working things for good
with help from One
who began good work in me.
Turning sorrow into joy
weakness into strength.

This course is clearly set before me;
not merely to survive but Overcome!

Tomi Inglis
1994