I'm sorry for your situation. I take Vicodin for pain, and the only reason that I'm not addicted is that my pain isn't anywhere's near as bad as yours. If it was, I don't think I would want to face a day without painkillers.

Are you being fair to yourself in wanting to get non-dependent on pain killers? If you are able to get by on just one or two, some days, then it sounds like you do use a lot of restraint.

I've never been addicted. I don't have any expertise to offer. But I have an awful fear of pain, and I dread the moderate soreness that I do get on and off. So I empathize with you. With your level of spinal damage, I can't see how you can feel too chipper without pain meds. It's a tough choice to have to make. Have you been able to talk about this with your doctor? It can be hard to trust enough to do that.

I've been told that there are non-narcotic alternatives for dealing with pain. Personally, I don't think anything brings the relief that the pills give. My own doctor has told me that, if medicating the pain keeps you more active, then he advises doing so.