Hello DaybyDay and welcome to PC. The emotional numbness you describe can be a symptom of depression. I think it's a kind of defense mechanism that we use when we feel overwhelmed by emotions. If that happens over time then it can get to be an emotional habit. I hope that makes sense. If you can get in control of the depression I believe that the feelings you hide will naturally come back. Even though you feel like you haven't suffered abuse you still were subjected to a lot of ugliness and that can wound also. The kind of fighting you describe can create intense insecurity which is another reason you keep your emotions at bay.
I think you should see a dr or counselor for help. You may need medication or maybe you need someone to talk to , or both. If you read the entries on these forums you will see that so many people have experienced the same feelings and self doubt. There are so many weird symptoms of depression. Some you would never suspect. That's why it's best to see a professional who is aware of all the ramifications of this disease. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
You will find wonderful , kind people on this site who will help you get some kind of hold on things.
I hope you feel better soon.