I wonder if it is to do with those around you not understanding how your condition makes you feel. I have battled depression for many years and often felt lonely in a crowd. Perhaps explaining to those around you how you feel when you are low may help. Often people changed their behaviour around me when I was low. That for me was the worst thing they could do. Things got better when I told them how to behave when I was having a bad day. I told them to go on as normal. It may be different for you of course, but it may be worth a try.