Thank you for your replies. I have considered what you said before, that maybe I have emotions that I'm just keeping hidden. But I've tried so hard to dig them out that I sort of gave up and started looking for other answers. I was scared for a while that I might be a sociopath, but I decided that I wasn't because I do feel guilt and I don't like to hurt people.

My dad was prescribed antidepressants a few years back and I have heard it can be genetic. I have mental disorders on both sides of my family.

Sometimes I go past feeling numb and I genuinely hate people that are causing me no harm. When I was in highschool I was pretty popular and good looking. I didn't get picked so its nothing like that. But sometimes I just hated the people there so much that I would sit in class imagining myself beating them to a pulp. I went to a public school and many of the students there were ghetto and overall terrible people, but I feel like my violent hate towards them was unnatural.

I guess I'm just trying to ask if maybe this is something besides depression? I've been this way my whole life and this is the first time I've ever tried talking about it. I tend to be very unreasonable in relationships and even though I know that I'm being that way, I just can't stop myself from feeling what I feel. It only takes one small thing to throw me off and ruin my entire day.