What do you call a dog that lives in the ocean? Fidoplankton (phytoplankton).
What do you give a parrot to see if it's lying? A Pollygraph.

A man goes into a pet store and sees a talking parrot with no legs holding onto his perch. He approaches the parrot and asks it how it holds on without legs. "I hold on with my private parts." The man, thinking that was fascinating, bought the parrot and took him home. Every day after work the parrot would recount the day's events for him. One day he comes home and the parrot is distraught. "What's wrong?" he asked the parrot. "Well, the mailman came to the door and your wife answered it wearing nothing but a negligee, and they started to make love on the living room floor!" "Well, what happened next?!" the guy asked. "I don't know, I fell off my perch."