Life can be so damn hard sometimes! My husband and I are going on thirty years too.

My husband shot meth until 2002. Years of hell and constantly wondering if I should leave him. I did leave him more than a few times, but never for good.

After he stopped the meth, alcohol became a huge problem. He's been sober about a year, and things are pretty good.

All that to say I know what it's like to be with a difficult man. Are these behaviors new since losing your son, or has it always been hard? I hope you can find some peace in the middle of all you are going through. It's so good you are taking some positive steps for yourself. Take care!