I have had some success with touching back, being in control. Being the one giving the pleasure helped me feel safer getting it later, showed me "both sides" of pleasure. I know how good it feels to give so can imagine how good it feels for my partner to give and can enjoy rather than fear the getting. Start with a lot of hugging and backrubs of your partner, maybe massage his feet? :-) (my husband had an accident to his foot when he was a teenager and the nerves are messed up and pain him often and only my massage helps). Like myself said, just get to know yourself and your partner's body in a sensual way rather than sexual and the familiarity will help.