Hey there - have you sought therapy?

I went through the same stages of self-doubt and feeling trapped inside social rules - I couldn't bear to even be around people because I knew that I'd have to fake any happiness I expressed. If you look into really FORCING yourself to look at the positives, it will help in time. Speaking from personal experience, it has worked in one of two ways: either you train yourself to be positive and feel self-worth over time, or you learn to let go of the pain and worry through methods like self-hypnosis and meditation.

After cycling through therapists several years ago, I still remember the very last session I had was an introduction to self-hypnosis. Try looking it up and giving it a go - it surprised me how much it helped over time.