I fake it a lot, too, because most of the people I run into aren't really friends, just acquaintances, and they don't want more than an "I'm fine, thanks," to their questions. The only person who's recently noticed that I wasn't looking fine was my daughter's hematologist. She pulled me aside to ask and I kind of fell apart. I don't know why I don't feel like I can do that in front of my friends, but I don't. So, yes, I know how you feel, blainewarbler, but I have no idea how, or even if, it's fixable.