you can try communicating to her with I statements. mom, im really upset when you say negative things about my job because I am really happy there. what I would like for you is to be supportive of me.

mom, it frustrates me when you talk about me to your friends because that is my personal business. what I would like is for you to stop talking about me behind my back.

but since your mother has been doing this for so long it is doubtful she is going to listen. if you want your mom out of your business you need to stop telling her your business and move out. the less access she has to you the less she is going to be negative toward you. take care