I'm so sorry, Laura. I know the pain. I too am recently separated. I sit here wondering why he couldn't have been kinder to me. If he had been, I wouldn't have left. But we don't deserve to have to stay in relationships with men who are unwilling to be good husbands or boyfriends. All we can do is leave and endure the pain for however many months it takes, until it doesn't hurt anymore, and then we'll be free to love again.