So I emailed T yesterday with hopes of getting some help, some motivation again. Instantly got an auto - reply that she is on vacation until the 2nd of September. That is when I have a chance to see her... So that plan was destroyed pretty quickly.

Need to start taking notes again on my mood and thoughts to try and find a pattern, when I tend to pull. Just don't really have the strength to take it up again... It's tough. Notice, observe.