It didn't seem like a real good day today for the most part. Tried to think positive but nothing really great happened. I've been feeling down about an upcoming biopsy. I had a lot of thoughts about how I should have gotten it all together and my health would have been so much better. I never had a special someone in my life (except when I was around 17 which was a century ago!) and felt like that's why my health is deteriorating. I know that sounds silly but that's what I believe. I've been thinking that I'm going to die soon and I don't have much to show for it when I do.

The day didn't start off good as I woke up around 3:30 and couldn't get back to sleep. I read somewhere that lonely people have that problem. Except I seemed to have fallen asleep about a half hour before I had to get up. And while I was up, there were annoying dogs yapping nearby. They have been a problem for a while.

Tonight I went to the pool area. There were a couple there. They were nice to talk to, but once again they are a couple. That's all that I seem to meet and it makes me feel like crap everytime I see couples. And then my friend called but we can only talk for two minutes.

I hope I can sleep good tonight. When I feel really down, it's hard to sleep.