I keep getting stuck in this cycle of irrational thoughts. I know it is stupid but I keep going back to it.

I want to run from my responsibilities but even if I try to take a break for a little while I feel guilty. I can't live with the guilt of not taking care of my family. So I start to think that the only way for me to get a break is if I was dead.

I know that is stupid and a giant leap from A to Z but I just can't shake it.