I thought I posted here yesterday, but it's not showing. Probably a newbie mistake. I'll summarize. I am concerned about your safety. You are going through what will most likely the most difficult time of your life. You can't turn to your husband for support because of where he is emotionally. I'm concerned that he'll lose control and harm you.
I've been there. My ex-husband became physically abusive and the children and I left. The divorce was just more emotional abuse. I've lost my oldest and my youngest child in just over 2 1/2 years. They were abused too. PLEASE plan for safety in case you have to get out quickly. Be sure to always have cash. Keep your cell phone and keys where you can get to them quickly. Plan somewhere you can go, if necessary. I hope you and your husband can lean on each other, but from what I've read I'm not too hopeful that will happen soon. The loss of a child is devastating: I know. Please take care of yourself.