Angie, Hon, you know I love you but I feel as if I've let you down. Maybe because I don't still really close to you, I don't know. But your words have brought back some peace about you and your little girls.

Roe, I'm trying to absorb your words. Meds didn't help my G-mother or my mom. All they got was blood thinners. The g-mother hemorraged everwhere the nurses touched her. The damage was already done in my mom's brain by the time she got the blood thinners. The dxing Dr said it was "dementia"!! From one minute to the next?? I don't think so!! Of course, Crestor and those drugs weren't around then.

Freewill, at this point in time, I can't imagine being an inspiration to anyone but I certainly do appreciate your words. They help more than you know.

All of my adult life I've struggled to NOT be my mom and I discarded everything about the g-mother. When I was young and didn't know any better, I loved parts of her, but at 10 yrs old, I ran away from home because of her. I ran to a girl's boarding school with my mom's blessing. LOL

Be, on the surface, I've felt that PC is my purpose. All the times I'm told that I'm loved and appreciated and that I've been an inspiration I've felt that I AM doing something worthwhile. What counters that big time, is the fact that my family doesn't see what eveyone here sees. They see me as twisted, wicked and evil, or... stupid and insignificant. I've quoted the Bible in regards to that... "A prophet isn't appreciated in his own town" meaning my family. Somehow, I can't reconcile that to myself. I need to think more seriously about PC really being my family.

I'll be waiting for your call tonight.

Aaaahhhhhh! I feel like crawling in a hole right now... but I won't. My dog needs a walk. I wish I could say that one of my nine grandkids needs some kind of help or lovin'.

I love you all! Don't know what I'd do without you! Keep talking. I need to dispell this pall hanging over me.