I used to be a lot more angry at my parents and my sister and other relatives who were abusive or didn't treat me the way I wanted them to. Now I have tools to deal with it. I just had a pretty traumatizing visit with my dad about a month ago and I realized that although I love him I cannot have him in my life in any real capacity until he works out his ****. I am tired of being his target. I know that it's not personal and that he does it to everyone. But I'm not a powerless little girl. Although it triggers me, and I'm still getting back on my feet after that visit, I can put some distance between us now. I decide on the contact. I have power in this situation too.
I feel grateful to have some really really good people in my life too. It's all about balance. Like healing said, 'it is what it is'.