This must feel terrible.

However, your T did answer you. If he didn't care he could have ignored your email!

I can't recall why "he banished you for 6 months" but obviously he still feels that he is not the one to currently counsel you:

He DID say he would send your correspondence "up" to the hospital to the doctor there for you: that means he knows how difficult it must have been for you to write whatever you did, and he would spare you having to say it all again!

That you feel he is the only one you can talk to concerns me, and perhaps the attachment you have for his therapy IS too strong to be constructive right now?

It is a good thing that you emailed him, I think, and to me, his reply shows he is a good guy and wants you to receive the care you need.

Maybe some of your upset is because we all want someone else to solve our problems the way we want? Actually, we just want others to fix us, in any way they see fit! He obviously batted the ball back into your court.

You need to continue to advocate for yourself, do what you need to to be safe.

<font color=blue> meditation is a true way to connect to the Source </font color=blue>