I flagged this post because I'm speaking bluntly. Not sure if it would trigger anybody, but I'm taking no chances.

I recently read a magazine interview with a young movie star in which she offered the opinion that sexual attractiveness is an absolute must. She insists that "the spark doesn't grow" and that you don't become more inclined to want sex just because you spend time with the person.

For my part, I cannot disagree strongly enough.

My husband and I are not ugly people, but by Hollywood standards, we are far from "sexy." We're both 50ish, weatherbeaten, and graying. For being the opposite sex, we have similar body types: Long bodies, short legs, all-gut-no-butt, thin legs in proportion to the rest of us. I won't pretend we can't stand to lose some weight, both of us, but we're working on that. However, neither of us will ever be "skinny," due to our natural body composition. Even at our healthiest numbers, we would still be stockier than average.

Do I think he's sexy, with my eyes? No, not really. But then, the typical "Hottiewood hunk" doesn't turn me on either. My eyes prefer women, although I choose not to go down that path in practice, because of my personal convictions. Not here to debate that with anybody. My point is, the "zing" doesn't have to be there visually. I do have a sex life with my husband, even if the fact that he's a man does nothing for me.

It was the same way for my previous husbands. Bluntly, I never did enjoy copulation. Foreplay, yes, but the main event, ho-hum. I always thought it was some service the woman performed for the man, in return for him pleasing her some other way, such as with his hands. Only recently did I figure out that, 1.) there are women who WANT that train going into their tunnel, 2.) these women are in the majority, and I am the exception, and 3.) there is a word for women who feel as I do. Physically, as for the aspects of sex that please me most, a woman could do it as easily as a man. Combine that with the fact that I'd rather look at a woman's body than a man's, and that word is "lesbian," even though I am married to a man and am sexually active with him.

So, is the "zing" factor there? No, obviously not. It wouldn't be there for Brad Pitt either. But I do love my husband, and I want to be married to him. Do I enjoy sex with him? Same as any other man; only the parts that don't involve his penis. That I do for his benefit, not mine. But he knows how to please me and is willing to do that, so yes, I do enjoy it.

My husband promised, when we first fell in love, that the second half of my life would make up for the first. He has done more for me than any other individual on earth and has been crucial in healing from my past. With him, I'm happier than I ever was before, because other factors more than cancel out the low "zing" factor. He is the most beautiful thing on earth to me, because I'm looking with more than my eyes, and loving him with more than my vagina. The actress thinks physical attraction is the engine that runs the car. I think it's more like the radio or the CD player. Nice to have, and enjoyable, but the car works perfectly well without it. Do you agree or disagree?