Haha.
Maybe I misread somewhere, and missed it...but Appalachian, do you not identify as being asexual? Instead of merely seeking an asexual partner I mean? Perhaps it's something that works for you. At any rate, I'm sorry you're having such a hard time with this. I'm sorry any of us do. Sexuality seems to be one of the tried and true hot-button issues that nobody really talks about (for the most part) and is not allowed to express in a normal, healthy way. I believe all forms of sexuality are valid (providing they are consensual and do not cause harm to others) and that if we were actually given the space and support to explore what that is for us we'd be a lot better off as a society.
I wish you all the best in your journey.