First off, I am sorry that you are probably going through one of the toughest times you could have ever imagined going through. I think you should really find a therapist to help
you sort out your feelings and to have someone that is on the "outside" of the relationship to discussed what happened with. That is a very long time to be with someone and then to wake up one day and be with someone you don't even recognized. I think you should also find out what has caused your husband to become the way he is now and WHY he was acting so out of it. I by no means am making excuses for him but I am just wondering if he has had something really bad happen to him to make him act out in a different way than normal. I wish you the best of luck and again sorry that you are feeling so much pain. I cant even imagine.