Thanks so much to you who have posted today and sent hugs. I am still a mess.

Terry, it sure can be hard to get to that human being. Thanks for understanding the problem. It is doable with persistence. I've become so depressed that I have not even tried today. Thanks for understanding. I did see on the web that they do have an office in town. Maybe I can go there.

Thanks anneo and sidestepper for checking in. It means the world that anyone cares enough to do that.

It's true, George, that I may have been looking at this place through rose colored glasses. How this plays out will give me an idea of what that manager may be like to deal with long term. I don't want to live somewhere that is managed by someone that I feel bad talking to. Especially, with getting subsidized housing. It forces you into a closer relationship than usual. The manager gets to know so much personal stuff about me. It's kind of humiliating, really. This is my first experience applying to a place. At least, I've learned the nitty gritty of what's involved. Painful, but necessary.

I used to work, have a reliable income, be able to support myself without government handouts. This is feeling awful. I'm seeing how low I've sunk.

I've been here by myself. My S/O can be pretty rejecting when I am depressed. Awhile ago, on the phone, he told me that he can't help me because he doesn't know anything about depression. When he had a stroke, I went to a library and read everything I could on stroke rehab. When he had heart surgery - the same. He has told me I should have never stopped working. And I believe him.