I know you and I am sorry you are dealing with this. It seems so chemical. I can't get the ambition to make stuff. I know that I could make meaningful things for my family. You are in a tough spot. Reach out to whomever is around you and get the support and help you can. If not for you, for your baby. Money? Who says we have to buy into the consumerism thing? I am not, will never be. You can have lots of alternatives. I am sickened that this culture puts such stress on us. You will be okay, I feel it. Give a few bounces and rasberries to the baby for me.