sorry. You should still be seeing a counsler. You have allot going on. I have been through what you have to a degree and there is a positive ending. Sometimes it takes awhile to get there. You can't stay in a negative relationship and the fear of change wrecks havoc on people dealing with what you have. Sounds easy to just get out, but I have been there. Even lived with my parents during that phase and believe me that was not easy or supportive either.....take one day at a time. You will get your identity back slowly.