I can understand your feeling of having to get out to fix things. I have been there and it is not fun. Just take a breath, calm yourself and relax. Things can get better.

First, apologize to your H for asking for the divorce and tell him you have reconsidered and want to stay together. Ask him to work with you to make that happen. Your T is the best source for finding a marriage counselor.

My H and I used to snap at each other and bicker all the time. Finally one day we made an oral agreement and a decision to stop that behavior. Things got better almost immediately. We have worked out a way of letting each other know when they are not being too nice without accusing them of yelling. When one of us snaps at the other we ask the grouchy one, "Are you upset with me?" That is a signal to tone down their emotions. You could also tell you H that you never know if he hears you or not and ask him to get his hearing tested and some hearing aids if possible.

If you can afford it hire someone to clean your house. There is no rule that says it is your job just because you are the female or because you are home during the day. It is so nice to be able to sit and read while someone else is doing the work you hate to do. Also, your young adult children can pitch in and do some of the housework. It will do them good.

Try taking a cooking class. Pick some ethnic group such as Chinese or Italian and learn to make that type of food. That may spark an interest in cooking again. There is nothing wrong with crock pot cooking. Get yourself a good slow cooker cookbook and try some new things. It will add variety without making more work for you.

Once I was thinking about moving out or our house because my husband and I were just not connecting. A friend gave me a book called, "Can This Marriage Be Saved?" It is short case histories of couples who went for marriage counseling. Each one of the pair tells their side of the story and then the therapist tells what they think. I didn't learn anything earth shattering from the book except that it made me realize that both of us were responsible for our situation. I decided to work on myself. Once I changed my focus things got much better. If you can find the book, read it. It is worth a try.

Good luck with your efforts and I hope you are soon back on the forum telling us how good things worked out. Take care of yourself.