Thank you all very much for your responses. I appreciate all the thoughtful suggestions. I did ask H if he would consider counseling and he said maybe. It's a start.

You are right that the real problem relates to kindness. We are not kind to each other. I hope we can have a real discussion and perhaps come up with a signal to think before reacting as you suggested. H was tested for hearing several years ago but I will (kindly) ask him to go again.

I am interested also in your thoughts about the meds I am taking. Is it unusual to take so many or is the combination unusual?

I respect all of you so much for your wisdom, insight and generosity. I tried to send a pm to thank each of you. Christina, I tried to send a private to you too but I could not get the box to popup. Of course I am sending from my nook not a regular computer. Anyway, Christina, you are, as my kids would say, "awesome".

I just wish this trip was over, but then I have to go home to my older sons who have lost all respect for me because I used to be somebody but now I am nobody and nothing. Perhaps it would be best if I just left. I know I could not take my 16 yo with me becausehe has some issues too. It seems hopeless. Maybe there is no way out, but I am so beyond miserable . I did come up with an idea though. I have several health issues. If I croak from one of them no one can blame me. Natural causes, right?