Yeah, I understand! That's why I'm afraid of coming out about all of this. I'm afraid no one will believe me. But I certainty believe you.

Digging, hmm.
Well, initially I was really freaked out because I had this super sketchy memory with a huge blank in it. I was sure one of my uncles hurt me, but I didn't remember what happened.
So I bought a journal. I journaled everything I could remember from my childhood, which wasn't much, but I centered it around that age in which I couldn't really remember.

I was looking for something to be wrong. I was waiting for something to come back. Not even waiting. I focused on that one memory and wrote every bit, every detail that happened. Nothing came of that, but one day (after waking up with a guy I hardly knew spooning me, [accidental, I believe]) I remebered a different uncle spooning me and I not wanting to.

So I dug more. I searched for something wrong in that memory because there were gaps there, too. So, when I was writing. I guess I had a flash? Or something?
I saw my uncle behind me and his leg on my crotch encouraging me to move back and forth, so I did. It's partially out of body, partially first person.

So I don't know how much my imagination influenced this, but I was digging pretty hard.