Growing up I had a father who was a perverted pedophile. He was a lying, scheming conman. He was narcisistic and sadistic both.He was a master manipulater, and a child abuser.

My mother was a weak, submissive woman who failed her children miserably.She was a pedophile and a child abuser. She was a liar.

Thats what I was able to come up with in therapy this weak as I try to find the FEELINGS that go along with growing up with all that. I am so NUMB and so DISCONNECTED when it somes to my childhood that I don't know how to let go.

What do I do now? How do I connect with the rage and disgust that should be there? How do I find that little girl inside that surely must have been devestated?Where is my inner child? Where is the hurt? I can tell things to my T as if it all happened to someone else and not me...

I want to take the next step in healing but I don't know how to let down the wall.... how to allow the feelings to surface...any ideas?Suggestions? Comments?

Thanks for letting me share anyway... Faith