Wow.. Your plate has overflown.. I hope by posting all that here helped even just a tiny bit. Of course I feel you really need to find a Therapist , It would benefit you greatly on all levels.

I am so very sorry you have so much going on.

Keep posting here if it's helping. I think as a new member you have to have 5 posted moderated ( this is too keep spammers out) and then you are able to post all you want.

Welcome to PC