Quote:
Originally Posted by Odee
I think you are already realistically aware of your responsibility in this situation is, but your wife can make some actions on her behalf as well.
She doesn't need journals or emails about sex with her ex. She is with you and she doesn't need to revisit experiences with someone else. The mementos are also a little weird, you can ask her to stash those away. And lastly, the comments such as "I went here with my ex" are unnecessary. She could have said "I went here before." It's kind of a simple concept that may make no sense to her but I think for everyone it's just polite to erase the unnecessary details.
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It's not like she says these things all the time. Once I told her it causes me discomfort when she mentions him and she said she would try to be more sensitive about that, but at the same time the things she says are innocuous enough and I do not expect her to walk around on eggshells due to me being hyper-sensitive.
The e-mails were in her archive. Surely I have e-mails in my archive from several years ago. I don't think she was deliberately hanging on to them. The mementos are tiny things like photos, wine corks, etc that fit in a shoe box with her journals. It is disorderly and I don't think she really knows everything that is in it. A lot of it is not necessarily stuff from her ex but are things like pictures with her college friends. Honestly I keep hoping I will come home one day and see the shoe box gone and not know where its contents went. I am totally fine with her keeping the journals and a few photos. That was a major part of her life and I don't expect her to just toss everything. Other mementos I don't really think are appropriate, but it is considerably less appropriate that I have snooped to find them.
Off to the therapist in one hour. I am going to talk to the therapist first and tell her about my snooping, then if we have time am going to invite my fiancé in.