I don't know if anyone had ever felt this, but whenever I feel really depressed I can usually feel some kind of chest "pain". Maybe it's not a "pain" necessarily but a very bad heart ache. All I can focus on is the way I feel, which is usually pretty hopeless. I can never pull myself out of that place when I go there. It's hard to explain but I didn't know if anyone ever feels the same sometimes.

My doc changed my medications the other day and today was rough. I don't feel that heartache anymore, but I'm still feeling pretty low, have thoughts on and off today of suicide and hurting myself. I've only tried to cut once, it wasn't enough to make me bleed, and didn't leave a mark, but I've done it again tonight wanting to make myself bleed.

I feel like I'm at the end of my rope here. I've only been getting help since December and I feel like its only gotten worse. The only way to get any relief at this point is to hurt myself. I want to stop feeling this way, I don't see any other way out.