I missed seeing your posts.
Maybe once your child is here you'll feel a sense of joy of fulfillment, most people say it does to them. I know the feeling of being betrayed and walked on, possibly though her view on it is different. Hopefully. It's possible you're filling a role but maybe you're also who she wanted to have a child with, being that it's you. Even though she wasn't faithful she's still with you, why then. I know that's a lot of possibilities, but maybe it is..... Food for thought. At one point i wanted to want to have a relationship because then i would think twice before being self destructive. Even though it doesn't bring you much comfort, that one day you'll feel better, at least you think that. You see the rationality of it all. I know all about the hopeless feelings, i feel it every waking moment. Like what is the point in my existence. Why can't i just disappear..... Hopefully the lightbulb will click real soon and you'll see fulfillment and the meaning of your existence. Hugs.
Just me two cents.