Quote:
Originally Posted by Tenmoku
It's not like she says these things all the time. Once I told her it causes me discomfort when she mentions him and she said she would try to be more sensitive about that, but at the same time the things she says are innocuous enough and I do not expect her to walk around on eggshells due to me being hyper-sensitive.
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I totally agree with you and disagree with Odee. Your wife is not trying to be bad. She is not trying to somehow, intentionally and selectively, dwell on her past with an ex. She is not trying to rub anything in, or make a point, or compare you to somebody in an unfavorable fashion (those would have been bad things to do). She is simply remembering things, from time to time,
authentically and contextually, as she goes through the ordinary course of living. To make her censor her speech (==> not to say "I have been here with X" but to say "I have been here" is self-censorship, to call a spade a spade) would indeed, as you say, amount to expecting her to walk around on eggshells. No, no, do not do that. Go the way you have been going, by trying to fix the issue in you, by your own means, without responsibilizing her.