I disagree very strongly, having lived with a husband who got irate beyond any reasonable measure when an email from a casual long-time ex would pop up in our inbox (we had a joint email address besides our individual addresses, and the casual ex, when he got my email address from a common friend, happened to learn of that joint address because a long time ago I gave that address to the common friend, not foreseeing difficulties down the road) 11 years into the marriage (and, I was absolutely faithful to him for the entire 12 years of marriage, and even more - I did not have sex for three and a half years after we separated). He got irate. He went to Europe shortly after that happened and would send me long emails about how horrible I was for allowing my horrible past to rear its ugly head.

I would not say that I had a horrible past, now, but back then, I felt very guilty. And, even before that, I hid pictures taken of me with yet another man I was friends with before I met my second husband. Because - horrible past!!! Horrible!!! Pictures of two clothed smiling people - horrible!!!

So, what is the meaning - the true meaning - of asking somebody to ERASE something from the record of their life? Well, it amounts to asking somebody to ERASE a part of her. Is it nice? No...

Sure, one can be cautious and not forthcoming with too much detail, but - a spouse, in my book, should be able to tolerate some info.

What else seems wrong with this approach of "erasing the details related to exes"? What I think is wrong with this approach is that it assumes that the whole time period that preceded your wife's meeting YOU was, sort of, prep work for living with YOU. And, kind of, almost a mistake. But now that she has met YOU, and has chosen YOU, now, at last, she has arrived and is safely attached. And, her past does not matter anymore - the only important part of her past is that she was able to find YOU. Good for her - she found YOU. hallelujah!!

Is that how you really view her past? You probably do not - if you think of it. You probably think that the woman you love is the woman you love as a cumulative result of all her past experiences - yes, including being with her ex. Her past was not a mistake and not "prep" for meeting with you - it was a portion of her life (by the way, we all have just one life to live, so it is kind of important how we live it and what we do with the time we have on this planet). A PORTION OF HER LIFE. So, it is kind of important. And not to ask to erase.