I understand a few of your thoughts you have in your post. I have paranoid driven light delusional story lines where the fears of loss, of unworthiness, of getting these mood swings disrupt the therapy I am trying to accomplish.

You have some plans that helps you cope with your situation. You are actually doing some of them. I am struggling to accomplish those types of tasks. So, the frustration of moving, progressing is understood.

You are not alone with similar struggles with doubts about ourselves, but know another is trying and doing is positive. So, I am glad you posted this, I feel support. Thank you.