Yes, I do think it's possible. I've had/have long-term friendships with the opposite sex and attraction has never been an issue for any of us.

I do think it's a shame that you found these emails because of the hurt they've caused. It's a real shame she wrote derogatory things about you in them. Who know's why she did it, perhaps you both were fighting at the time of the email and she was letting of steam?

I do think tho, if you're strong enough, to let them go. Your partner has gone now which is terribly, horribly sad, but it means that you'll never get to the bottom of this because you can't ask her. It's a horrible situation to be in, but please try to let it go because you're just going to keep feeling awful. Nobody is perfect, as your partner has proved, but there is nothing that can be done about that now. You also ask if you should've trusted her and believed her answers - and yes, you should've. It showed love, trust and strength - all of these were great and the right qualities that you had in you. Even when we are proved wrong to trust in the long term, it doesn't mean you were wrong to trust - it just showed you were strong. Please please be kind to yourself..

Hugs.