I apologize in advance if this is a long post. This is actually the first time I've talked about this recent issue in my life and I think I need to let it all out before I completely break down.

I recently had someone that I considered a good friend, someone I talked and texted with every day, tell me that I was a good friend but didn't want me to talk to her anymore. It's left me very lonely, very confused, very depressed, and very angry.

We didn't talk long. We'd only started talking in March, but we got to the point we were talking on the phone or texting every day. We don't live in the same state so it was a long distance friendship. I don't have many friends and have a tendencty to get attached to people emotionally.

She'd just broken up with her boyfriend a month prior and my last relationship was five years ago. I'm sure part of why she talked to me was out of loneliness. She'd tell me about her problems, talk about personal stuff that I wouldn't think a person would share with just anyone. She was the first to mention meeting in person, the first to call me a pet name ("baby", "sweetie", "sugar"), and the first to ever mention sex (either her sex life or with each other). I was enjoying having this friend and I thought she really liked me, or so she constantly told me by saying how important I was to her, how she never wanted to lose me, how I treated her better than anyone she'd dated ever had.

Her ex had lied to her, possibly cheated on her, wanted her to quit a job she loved. But then 2 weeks ago she sent me a text and said she was back with him. Told me that "I was a good friend", that she "wasn't my girlfriend", that she would "always chose him over anyone else", and not to reply to her.

It hurt me. I haven't been able to eat or sleep as much as normal. Everytme I try to open my mouth to talk about it, I feel myself start to break down. Of course, no one that knows me has even asked if I'm ok, even though I haven;t actually talked to anyone since.

I am taking a vacation soon but every time I try to plan it, my whole body goes into shakes and I feel like I'm falling apart.

I still want to be her friend. Which is what I wanted when we first started talking. But I feel like I must be worthless to be tossed aside in favor of someone who she said never really respected her or treated her right. I don't understand how you can break off contact with someone, especially someone you think of as a friend.

A bad part is that her birthday is next month and I actually want to get her something that I promised I'd get her back when we talked. I feel like I shouldn't want to keep being nice to her, shouldn't want to keep showing her my support. But I still want to.

I think I just needed to get that out in the air. See what anyone else thinks.

Thank you