I don't know. Even after I learned to accept happiness I still had hatred in me that I wanted to clear out, so I wrote my hateful message to that person and after I did I felt like killing myself. I don't know if it was a stupid move or not, I just don't know. I don't even have the courage to look myself in the mirror sometimes. Every day someone hurts me my fear of expressing emotion just keeps increasing. Maybe my brain thinks if I express emotion something bad will happen, or whatever. I want to do things, but I can't. I just wish there was a way I could express emotion like other normal people.